Magnificence

I sit quietly, savoring my new morning ritual. I did not come by it easily. In fact, I fought it. Living for over two decades with a rock in my stomach does not bode well for relaxation. How often did I tell myself that, yes, I am relaxing? Perhaps I was sitting in the sun, enjoying a glass of wine. Maybe I was curled up on the sofa with a good book. But how wrong I was..for I never knew, as  I lived with that rock, what quiet and relaxation really were.It took life changes.


 It took training. It took the little voice in my head, that finally told me after 50 years of life, "you are important. Save yourself." Kind of sounds melodramatic. But, in reality, its not at all. Its plain and simple truth. Learning to be still, to be quiet, to reflect on the sounds I hear(or dont hear) has, quite literally, saved my life. Oh, Im not too good at it yet. 


The first time I tried to meditate, to be still, I gave it 30 minutes. I felt as if my skin was crawling. How do people do this? The Dalai Lama meditates for six hours a day. SIX HOURS!! Ok, I dont aspire to BE the Dalai Lama or to meditate for six hours, but still....So now I try a two fold approach.


I wake up early(not a problem for an insomniac). I make tea..which is really much more relaxing than coffee. I open my window..and I listen. If its past 7 am, I will hear cars, yes. But I hear birds..and what I see..oh what I see. I see the Rocky Mountains, the grand and glorious mountains. The creation of this beauty was surely one of God's grandest moments.  I sit quietly and I reflect on what I have..and express gratitude, even for the sounds of those cars as they hum down the highway. I have my phone off, tv off, computer off. At first this was a strange feeling, this disconnect. Now, it is simply beautiful. It is, almost always, the best part of my day. 


We are here, simply, to be magnificent. To do this, we have to reflect on the magnificence of this world, the beauty we have been given. When the problems or the stresses of the week are weighing on me, this morning time gives me a chance to remember that this is all a part of my journey. It is all for my greater good..and I am blessed.


April 19, 2012