It has been 13 months since I landed, unsteady and unsure of many things, in the mountains of Colorado. I had, at the time, what seemed a simple goal-to make a new life. I had no plan, just a lot of hope and a lot of passion for moving on. I knew few people here. I only knew that I had been to this grand place and fallen in love with it. Call it a feeling or an intuition, but I just knew deep within that there was "something" here for me.
I began my life here with enthusiasm. But inside I felt uncertain. I felt fear..no, I felt terror. What would happen to me? How would I make it? Who I would I meet? I heard the naysayers, the skeptics. I heard, but I chose not to listen. Instead, I worked every day on becoming the person who I knew was meant to be here. I had something to prove, but it took a while before I realized who I had to prove that something to. I was the only one who needed to see this through. I was the only one who really needed to believe. When I realized this, something happened. I found myself surrounded by amazing people and even more amazing experiences.
For years, I had shut myself down, hidden behind my own walls. When I moved to Colorado I gave myself permission to be open to whatever was in front of me. I gave myself permission to say "YES!" And say "yes" I did. I opened my arms to new people and new ideas and new adventures. I gave up even more. I gave up worry and stress. I gave up judgement and fear. I gave up anger and bitterness. People have said to me.."how did you do what you did?" I have thought a lot about that. First, I made a choice. I would start my fifties in celebration of the great opportunity before me-the opportunity to change not just my own life, but the lives of others..the chance to make a difference. I finally understood what that meant. I chose not to live in the past, not to hate or be hurt anymore. I chose to stop each day and celebrate the beauty in life. I chose wholeheartedly to surround myself with people who raise me up, who raise this world up and bring positive light and energy to everyone around them. I chose to heal my life and help others heal theirs.
Deep in my soul I have found, here in Colorado, a true sense of peace and happiness. I have found my purpose and my passion. I live in the moment, however grand or small. I wake up with a renewed sense of enthusiasm for the day.
I know that it all happens for a reason. All of my heartaches and pain have brought me to this place, right here, right now. Each day is a lesson. I thank Spirit every morning for the blessings in my life, big and small. I knew there was "something" here for me..and I have found it. Its life, in all its grand and amazing splendor. Sometimes I have to pinch myself..its all that good. I do not know where this journey will take me next. I only know that I am so grateful for it all..the Rocky Mountain high continues...
This post is dedicated to my friend, Jennifer-may you rest forever in peace and know that your spirit lives on.
